Little do those who ask me that know that that is a loaded question. I could choose to be general and say, "New York." But that elicits a response about the city -- the exact opposite of where I'm from.
I could say "Upstate." But that too will throw people off the trail, leading them to ask about living in Westchester.
I could be upfront and just say, "Plattsburgh," the response my mom has always despised. "We're not actually from Plattsburgh, why do you tell people that?" she would ask my dad whenever we went on family vacations.
That leads me to my next choice: "You ever hear of the Miracle on Ice? In Lake Placid? Yeah, I'm from 40 minutes away from there."
And if that doesn't work, I finish my journey north and say "20 minutes from Canada."
All I should have to say is, "the North Country," and watch the light bulb click. But, sadly, Rand McNally hasn't published an accurate map of New York state in history books that line the shelves of elementary schools. So it's time for me to set the record straight.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most accurate New York state areas map known to all New Yorkers (and to those of you who read me in other places, too).
(And yes, I know it looks like a 5-year-old colored this map with marker. I didn't feel like working hard in Photoshop today.)
Region 1: The North Country
Cities: Plattsburgh, Lake Placid, Champlain, Malone, Watertown, Massena, Ogdesnburg
Landmarks: Lake Champlain, St. Lawrence River, Adirondacks and farm country, lots of farm country
Rundown: It's where I'm from. It doesn't seem like there is a whole lot that meets the eye, but we've got the Olympic village and the gateway to Canada. Oh, and great mountain top views.
Region 2: Upstate
Cities: Albany, Troy, Schenectady, Saratoga, Utica
Landmarks: Saranac brewery, the state capital, Saratoga Race Course, my current apartment
Rundown: I have an editor who once said that Upstaters like to surf their A's and O's when they speak, which is also true of Central New Yorkers and Western New Yorkers. Albany is the big city for North Country folk, in case you had any doubt of how rural the North Country is. We've got the Capitol, plenty of Northway traffic and rich city folk who move to the fields of Columbia and Greene counties.
Region 3: Central New York
Cities: Syracuse, Ithaca, Binghamton
Landmarks: Lake Ontario, Jim Boeheim, Finger Lakes, Billy Fucillo
Rundown: I can't say I've spent a lot of time in Central New York, but here's what I know: Everyone loves 'Cuse basketball and is ashamed to admit they like 'Cuse football, there is a lot of open farm fields, Ithaca is gorges (look it up) and Billy Fucillo is a television icon.
Region 4: Western New York
Cities: Buffalo, Rochester, Niagara Falls
Landmarks: Niagara Falls, lakes Erie and Ontario, Buffalo (I guess)
Rundown: To me, Western New York is like it's own state. People really surf their A's and O's, the food is different (where else can you get a garbage plate, white hots, Chiavetta's chicken and a beef on weck sandwich and wash it down with syrup in a can, a.k.a loganberry?) and the atmosphere is different. Buffalo is a tad rundown, though Rochester (at least the outskirts I visited) is nice. Niagara Falls? Well, I'd keep the car moving through Niagara Falls. When it comes to sports, Western New Yorkers are long-suffering at the hands of the Bills and now the Sabres.
Region 5: Downstate
Cities: Poughkeepsie, Kingston, White Plains, Newburgh
Landmarks: Rich people from the city, Tappan Zee Bridge
Rundown: Again, an area I don't know a lot about, but here's what I've got: My dad lived in Newburgh when he started working in the state corrections system (sounds like it sucked), people from the city refer to the greater Westchester County area as upstate and this is where the accent changes from Upstate.
Region 6: New York City
Cities: Duh
Landmarks: Duh
Rundown: If you know nothing about New York City, I'm surprised you're reading this post because you probably live under a rock. No offense for those of you who actually do live under rocks.
Region 7: Long Island
Cities: The place seems to be one big city itself, but: Uniondale, Hempstead, Massapequa, Huntington and the Hamptons are out there, too.
Landmarks: The Atlantic, the Hamptons, technically Brooklyn and Queens
Rundown: Half the kids at Plattsburgh State (my alma mater) are from Long Island, but I can't say it would be appropriate for me to give the stereotypes of Long Islanders that PSUC students have developed. From what I can deduce, there's a lot of lacrosse, beaches and commuters on the parking lot (as it's known by a friend from Queens) known as the Long Island Expressway.
